1000 Miles and 1001 Flat Tyres
Here's my diary from my bike ride from Berlin to Budapest and back. I was gonna just put up jpegs from the pages...but they aren't easy to read. Which means I'm typing them, so it'll take a while, but I'll keep adding them. If the picture is different from last time you looked, it means I've added more to this post. Try to enjoy.
20.08.08 Luckau
I finally made it out of Berlin, my plan was to stay 1 day, but the guy who fixed my bike was slow, well, he had to order a wheel, dunno what kind of bike shop has no wheels in store. When the wheel came it was the wrong type, which meant he had to get the right one and that took another day.
It doesn’t help that Toby lives in Neuköln, this guy was the only bike shop I found, and I had a perfectly timed bronchitis attack which meant I couldn’t go and look around coz I felt like shit. I’m quite disappointed by Neuköln, I thought since David Bowie wrote a song about it, it must be pretty cool, but it’s not, it sucks arse. Not to say bad things about the Turks, but it’s full of Turks, no one speaks German on the main street, except for the few remaining lost-causes. And the main street is nothing but kebab shops, €1 shops, and sports betting. How can everyone in society run a kebab shop? Who fixes the sewer? Or does all the other stuff? “Who needs a sewer when you have kebabs?” Still, the kebabs are pretty good, I’m not racist, I hate everyone equally. I just hate stereotypes, and people who go round in groups acting like a group.
Anyway, I rode 85km or so to this place, I’m in a field just outside a town, I was a bit slow getting away, but I think I’ve made good distance. The problem is the small path on the other side turned out to be a road, and I’m pretty close and people drive and ride up it now and then. I feel like a criminal out here, illegally camping in someone’s field. But what am I stealing? Grass growing time? The field has been recently cut, I guess they were growoing hay here, which means there’s still all these harcore tufts of grass that are pushing under the tent.
The bike goes pretty well, really fast, good gears, except the racing wheels make it feel like it’s gonna explode on the smallest cracks. Some dude rode along beside me and was complementing me for how fast I was going. He was riding an old woman’s bike and struggling to keep up. When I told him I was going to Czech Republic he nearly threw up. Then he told me the way, as if I hadn’t thought of that myself. I went through a lot of small villages, really weird places, most seemed deserted, and when there were people they were almost always old, with terrible clothes, Anyway, the torch is dying, so I have to get new batteries tomorrow.
21.08.08 Bautzen
I think I must have ridden about 115km today, which makes it 200km over 2 days. And I’m sore, dunno what that thing is called, behind the balls, maybe the perenium or something, the crode? Well it’s pretty swollen, sore, and my dick is numb, well the whole region is, guess there are nerves going through there that have been drilled. It’s funny, I can feel there’s something there in my pants, but it doesn’t feel like it belongs to me. I’m just outside bautzen, which is easily the nicest town I’ve come across so far, before that was Hoyerswerda, which was not too bad, but this place wins. I was wondering why all the towns had Polish names on the signs too, since Poland was moved west after WWII, there should be German names in Poland, not the other way around. Then I realised it’s Czech, so this area must have been Czech before, which explains why Bautzen is nice, built in the Bohemian style, lot’s of churches and on a sharp bend in the river. I ate at a Chinese restaurant, wasn’t even that hungry, just wanted to sit inside and draw for a bit. I was tempted to try and get a bed in the hostel, sounded nice. But no, the tent prevails, and I found a pretty good place, outside the town, a nice grassy field hidden by a long grove of trees. I had to walk across the field in pitch black, not sure what I would find, but it paid off.
There’s a factory just behind some trees, they are making some noises, and a large blue light is shining, but it’s ok. I passed a lot of crosses on the road today, memorials, I just hoped they were for drunk drivers, and not cyclists run over by drunk drivers. The roads are ok, at some parts you get a special bike path on the side, that’s nice, others you are with the cars. There isn’t much shoulder on these roads, the white line is about 15cm, and there’s about 15 more of black, so I’ve gotten pretty good at sitting on the white line. At the first bit this morning it must’ve bee about 12km dead straight, kind of boring, but interesting too, just watching the line for 30 minutes. It’s been almost completely flat, except for the last hour, where it started going up and down a bit. I fear tomorrow will be more up and down.
I can’t believe how many dead-beat little towns I passed through, all with the same eerie feeling, like everyone is looking out the windows wondering who I was, with the curtains closed of course. If there was someone on the street it was always an old person, terribly dressed, not saying I’m the king og style, but there are limits. I think tomorrow I’ll cross the border and take some trains, my butt needs a rest. It’s a funny thing this, don’t know why I’m doing it, guess I wanted to push myself a bit, see if I could do it, and feel some pain. I find myself thinking out loud, talking to myself while doing things, or talking to the bike.
One thing I discovered is that Germans don’t like giving away water or free toilet usage. I was up nice and early this morning, after having all these weird dreams about people coming up and opening my tent and stuff. It didn’t help that something that sounded like a gun was making noises through the night. So I went back into Luckau, hoping to quickly fill up my bottles before I left, but there wasn’t a single tap anywhere, I finally gave up, after even climbing into someone’s yard, only to find the hose had no water source, and I was on my way out of the town when I saw a tap beside a building, so I quickly filled up and escaped before someone came out demanding money. As fro toilets, I don’t think there is a single free toilet in the whole land. Every time you go in there is a troll woman who is most concerned with making sure you put your money on the plate than actually cleaning, luckily there are pissoirs scattered about, but if you are a girl you have no choice, and there’s something that doesn’t feel right about paying for a toilet.
22.08.08 A train in the Czech Republic
I felt guilty about buying a train ticket, like it’s cheating on the mission. But my arse and legs need a rest, I was dying. Then it looked so cheap and easy to get a train right across the whole country I couldn’t say no. But of course, nothing is that easy, and I don’t feel guilty anymore. The women who worked in the staion at Rumburk were pretty useless. They even had a bed with cushions for resting after selling too many tickets. It was the first town I came to after crossing the border, funny, 9 years ago when I came here I needed a visa, had to get all these stamps from where I stayed, they came on the bus and inspected everyone. Now I only knew I’d crossed the border by the sign and the roads becoming crustier. Of course I was almost run over in the first minute by some moron who wanted to take a left and just swung out before noticing me and stopping. I was watching him approach wondering where he was going when I suddenly realised he was coming for me and I hit the brakes. Luckily he saw me at the last minute. I rode to the next town (Rumburk) and looked around, trying to figure out where to go. When I asked the woman in the shop if she spoke English she said German, so I asked her the way and she told me in Czech. Then I saw the station where the other 2 women who can’t speak either language worked. I showed them my bike, and they said it was cool and gave me a route which looked pretty easy. Then I got on this little local train that charged down some wobbly tracks through the mountains to another town (Dêcin) and I tried to get on the train that would take me all the way when the conductor said I couldn’t take my bike. Fucker. So there was no more guilt coz now I was sitting there with my ticket for the whole country wondering how to get across. After an hour of waiting a train came for Prague, it was a nice ride and I looked out the window all the way at the country side. Oh, I forgot to mention the Nazi bitch at Dêcin who when I asked for help just yelled at me in Czech and pointed to a wall with all these timetables on it. I was confused in Prague, I didn’t remember the station looking like that, and I had no idea where I was gonna go, and which trains I could take my bike on. I finally found an info desk, and waiting in line I found the piece of paper in my pocket with the first route I asked for to Jihlava, when I saw there was a transfer in Kolin, and I’d just seen on the board there was a train for Kolin. So I ran out and saw the conductor from the last train and asked him in German if I could take my bike. He paused from buying his hotdog and said “Kein problem”, so I ran and jumped on. This was a modern train, called a “City Elefant”, don’t ask me why, but it was slow as an elephant. Of course the info screen said nothing about Kolin, it was all in Czech so I had no idea anyway, I asked a guy where we were going and he pointed on my map to a town on the other side of Kolin, so I thought it was cool. Still no info about Kolin had appeared on the screen, by now I’d learned the Czech words fro “next station” and some other things I’ve already forgotten. Stanice is station though, hurrah, I know 4 Czech words- pivo, dobri, voda. I asked another person, a girl, and she said it went to Kolin, then I said it’s not on the board and she said “Oh yeah, you have to be in the front half”. A simple train ride is a real mission. So I got in the front, after splitting the train sat there for ages before leaving, though I made it to Kolin in time with 5 minutes to spare, and here I am on the train I would’ve been on if I’d relaxed 3 hours in Rumburk and taken a train straight through. It would’ve been cheaper too, but I wouldn’t have been able to look out the window at the country side.
I was actually going to buy bike pants today, with the padded crutch, sounds funny, but it hurts to ride, guess I should have a cushioned seat. Hopefully my butt will have healed today, and I’ll be able to go on tomorrow. The strange thing is that I felt my strength return as soon as I crossed the border, maybe it was knowing I’d reached a goal, or the banana milk I bought just as I left Germany.
It’s funny sleeping in the fields, you feel kind of like an animal, sneaking around in the darkness looking for a place the humans won’t find you. Doesn’t help that I haven’t showered in 3 days. I did have a swim in a lake yesterday, but I thought the nudists might yell at me if I took my soap in and started lathering up their beautiful lake.
23.08.08 Vienna
It was hard to explain to the train conductors and folks that I just wanted to head south. So I pointed to a on the map, Znojmo, then they figured that was where I was going, but I didn’t really care, just south. The last train I managed to get went to Okrisky, there was one going a bit further, but not to Znojmo, so they didn’t let me on it. It turned out ok. The station master was a friendly old guy, who could tell me in German “Am morgen, sechs uhr” which was that there was a train tomorrow at 6. Then he invited me to sleep in the waiting room, “Hier, Schlafen”. I was going to head out and pitch my tent, but the waiting room seemed ok. I put my bags under the bench and strapped them on, then pulled my hat over my eyes and slept. The lights were on all night, and the coffee machine rumbled loudly, but I got some sleep. And at 6am I was on the train. These little trains are more like trams, or buses, one carriage on the tracks that wobbles all over before stopping abruptly. The drivers always stop abruptly, as if they forgot about the next station.
So from Znojmo I was back on my bike, my butt hurt less and pretty soon I was passing a lot of casinos, finally I came to this giant complex, like a Disney castle, all plastic with plastic dragons on the top that sporadically breathed not flame, but what looked like gas from a fire extinguisher. This meant I was very close to the border, but I wonder how this works now that the border is open. A few minutes later I came to the remains of the actual crossing, with the abandoned customs officer’s house and other buildings half torn down. I think this is where I crossed 9 years ago and the guard was very angry coz I hadn’t gotten stamps from the places I stayed. Then he asked how much money I had, luckily it was about $2, so he told me to go and said “next time, you do not leave”. Yet now it was empty, falling to pieces.
Being back in Austria meant the roads were better, well not back in Austria, back in the west, so to speak. The road suddenly got wider and the cars were faster. I saw some small side rides, and figured it would be better to ride on them. Luckily the Austrians don’t like to let cyclists know where the small roads go, so when mine started heading down into a valley and veering away, I had faith in that it would swing back. But no, it just headed straight into some trees and ended. Which meant I had to walk all the way back up and get on the road with the cars. So now it was time for some food. I saw I could push my bike up the steep slope behind me and get back on the road there. After eating I dragged the bike up, the whole hill was covered in thistles, they had been cut and were lying dry all over the place. But it was too easy, when I got to the top I saw the impenetrable animal fence which I had no chance of getting over. So I finally wheeled the bike down, and went all the way back up the path to the point where I thought I was so cool riding on this old road with no traffic, and found a way down onto the road and rode down the hill,. It was a long hill, and the cars were fast, so I was scared, my hat started to feel like it was gonna fly off, yet I couldn’t stop, eventually I just grabbed it and held it in my hand all the way. The worst thing about riding is the cars, you hear them coming behind you, and each time you think “ I hope he’s seen me”. It only takes one dick to be playing with his stereo, switching between Euro trash collections, and bam! I’ll be splattered across the road.
The area was Austrian wine country, so it was different, pretty hilly, so I decided to walk the bike up the steep hills and give my butt a break. Eventually I came to Hollabrun, these places are insignificant, but to me they are small goals, from town to town I give myself little breaks. Leaving Hollabrun I again found myself on the highway, and saw a smaller old road running parallel that conveniently had no signs showing the way. I thought I could just climb over to it, but then I saw the barrier and the 7 metre almost cliff down. So I was forced to stay with the cars that seemed to be going faster. After climbing the hill the gap between the roads became 1 metre and I jumped down. Now I was happy, it was down hill with no cars, still no signs to tell me where the hell to go. I came to another small town, and managed to guess which way to go, finally ending up on a smaller road that diverged from the highway and would take me to a bridge over the Danube. I went through a few villages, past some farms, saw that potatoes are called “Erd Äpfel” in Austria, not “Kartoffel” like in Germany.
Another bike path appeared, so I got on it. This had small green signs with a bike and a number. So if you know the numbers you can go anywhere, I didn’t. Then the path split, and the numbers went up a hill and away from the road I was following, so I decided to follow the numberless road that seemed to go in my direction. The asphalt ended, but the rocky road wasn’t too bad, this was a corn growing area, and I was happy to be rolling on the mellow slope between the cornfields. The hills ended and a plain opened up so I figured the Danube wasn’t too far away. The asphalt also came back and I came to a village where a woman gave me directions. Half an hour or so later I was crossing the Danube, after having crossed a small creek just before it thinking “Is this the Danube? It’s shit.” But no, the river is wide, and from here it was smooth riding along the path by the river, almost too easy.
After resting for 2 days in Vienna I was joined by my travelling companion Bettina, who will be coming to Budapest- We spent a few hours in the city before riding along the south bank of the Danube. The road wasn’t clearly marked, but we figured as long as we were by the river we would be on the bike trail. Then we came to another ambiguous junction, the road swung inland, and there was no clear path. There was a port area near the river, and a sign that said “Cemetery of the Nameless”, so we figured the path must continue on the other side. There was a path there, and signs that said “Private”, “No bikes”, but the path seemed to follow the river. It was a kind of area with small beach houses, what they didn’t have was a sign that said “dead end”. So we wasted half an hour riding through there waiting for each resident to come out and yell at us before coming to the very end where a woman working in her garden told us it was impossible to get through. So we rode back to the port area, I hate riding backwards. Then we decided to follow the road, it swung around a bit and eventually crossed a bike path, so we followed it thinking it must be the way, then it just ended.
So we followed the road, it seemed to be going to the autobahn, but there was a path to the side which took us into a forest kind of thing after passing the wonderful stench of the sewage treatment plant. The forest was a kind of swampy area, sort of like what I imagine Florida is like, and the road ended up turning 180° and then going under the autobahn. At this point we checked the map and decided to go back to Vienna as the road was gone and there was nowhere to cross the river for miles. It’s interesting how few crossings there are for the river, but my map is for cars, so it doesn’t show foot bridges and the like. After going back for half an hour or so we found a bridge, and it had signs, so we crossed over to the island in the middle, then we found a smaller bridge and were on the other side. There I saw some signs that led us through some industrial areas to another swamp with a dyke next to it. Dykes are the go here, and most of today’s path followed them. Interesting that the dykes are so straight, but the roads swing all over the place.
The dead straight road took us to a one bar town outside Vienna, the bar was closing as we arrived around 8. Funny that this town was so close to Vienna but it felt like it was in the middle of nowhere. 3km Later there was a bigger town with a restaurant that specialised in fish, which is special in landlocked Austria. We had to find a place to sleep so after dinner we rode to the next town where I saw a hedgehog trying to hide from me in the hedges. Next to the town was a forest, it was a bit scary in the dark and I didn’t want to pitch the tent in there. In the distance the small Jesus shrine with a candle looked like a witches house or something, who comes into the forest to light a candle and stick pictures of Jesus on a tree? The forest opened to a field, and we could see a building with a light only 100m away and hear dogs. But there were some bushes so we pitched the tent behind them and I went to sleep hoping no angry farmer would come and yell at us in the morning.
At around 3am the rooster competition began, I thought it must’ve been at least 4.30, but Bettina checked the clock. Very enthusiastic birds, they kept at it until well after sunrise. Occasionally the dogs would join in and there was some kind of animal in the forest that sounded like a Walrus having an orgasm while throwing up that screamed out a few times.
We got up early to beat the farmer and I discovered we were sleeping in the capital city of the land of the slugs. Now I know the colour of slug shit is green. We packed the tent and were away by 7.30 as I realised the farm house so near was just part of a sports field. As we rode along the dyke again I saw many nice areas we could’ve slept, too late now.
The riding was easy, very flat, and we crossed the bridge to Hainburg and had a look around before heading to Bratislava. Another dead border crossing and a new type of money. You can see the people in Slovakia aren’t Austrian, I guess the Austrians are pretty ugly, yeah Arnie.
So we checked out Bratislava, pretty nice, they have a castle on the hill and the old city. Next to the city is a kind of Legoland of modern apartment blacks in all colours, like a city of it’s own. Then back to the bike path, or back to trying to find the bike path. It seemed everyone on bikes and roller blades were going the same way. And we saw the same couple we’d passed already 3 or 4 times before since breakfast. Now I understood why there were so few people in the city, they were all riding bikes and blades on the path. But it’s not true, there were shitloads of people here, but still a lot in the city. The path turned into a dyke again, and the lack of signs meant we followed it for hours until it ended with an old faded map on a board.
After examining the map and checking my compass we decided to head to a village near the border, and after half an hour or less we suddenly realised we were in Hungary, 3 countries in 1 day, now that’s travelling. We only knew we were in Hungary coz of the number plates on the cars. We passed through Rajka pretty quick and were rolling along a country road as I was looking for a good place to set up tent. When suddenly I saw tents through the trees, it was a campsite. Hurrah, a shower. The cheerful (not) guy who worked there only spoke a little German, but we got a nice place by the river and relaxed. The only other guests were what seemed to be a school group and I dunno how long it was, but the girls sounded like they were talking all night. Still it was nice to sleep without dreaming of angry farmers tearing the tent apart or being shat all over by slugs. So we’ll see where this road takes us today.
29.08.08 Gönyü
Gönyü is a boring town in the middle of nowhere, on the Danube. I dunno how we got here, yesterday we rode through hundreds of dull little towns before we reached Györ. Györ was pretty nice, in contrast to the other towns, it has an old centre, with classical architecture, don’t ask me what kind though. Yet most of the small towns we passed through could easily be mistaken for any little town in USA, or even Australia. The typical boring houses, one shop, one or two funny looking people on the streets. Though there seems to be a lot of development, many new houses being built around the towns. Sadly in that plain modern American suburban style, guess it’s nicer than the communist relics we passed.
After eating in Györ we looked at a map of the bike path on an info sign. It looked like a good map, and it showed the road split here, we wanted to get back near the Danube so we could swim, so we followed the road towards Komarom. Everything was going well when suddenly the bike path vanished, not the first time. I asked a policeman and he explained to me in German that we should go straight ahead. Everyone speaks German here, I don’t even bother asking for English. In Mosonmagyarovar, the first biggish town we passed there were German signs for dentists. It’s pretty close to the border I guess, a nice old centre surrounded by crumbling cold war apartment blocks.
So we went straight ahead, it was around 7pm and we passed a camping place just outside the city. Being optimists we decided to ride on and see if we found anything better. There was no bike lane, so it was a bit uncomfortable riding with the cars, at least it was still light. Suddenly a bike lane appeared, it took us over a bridge above a train track and disappeared just as suddenly. Now there was a sign on the road that said no bikes. Looking around we saw to the left a whole lot of new roads for some kind of development, maybe housing or industry, and a guy making sure no one drove on them. He spoke only Hungarian, so he wasn’t much help. Soon some guy arrived in a car and they jabbered a bit, then he waited in the car a minute before opening the door and explaining in German that there was a town a few kilometres down the road. We glanced down, still unsure about the dangerous road. There weren’t many cars on it, and suddenly out of the darkness a massive fat guy came riding a bike towards us, he even moved into the centre lane to make a left turn. So if he could ride on this road so could we.
As we rode towards the town I was scoping around for good camping sites in the fields. We were close to the Danube so it was that Florida style swampy shit again, and I wasn’t keen to invade another slug kingdom.
In the town it was pretty bleak, like one of these coastal towns in Australia, one main road and a bunch of side roads going to the beach. There were a few bars and some signs that said “Zimmer Frei”, which means “Room Free” in German. These signs were permanently placed, so I dunno what happens when someone rents them. At the end of the towns we saw it was more of nothing for 25km or so. So we decided to try a room, the first one we found had a bell on the gate. An old woman came out, but she couldn’t speak English or German, only €10 each (zehn Euro). I dunno why, but I carried on in German with her, and she looked confused and said stuff in Hungarian. Finally she understood that we wanted to see the room. It wasn’t really a room, more her living room, so the décor was that of an old Hungarian woman, kind of art deco pink lounges, a brown old shelf thing with glass doors and doilies around, and some religious pictures on the wall. Then we saw we would sleep on these 2 beds in the corners, through some glass doors was another room with a bed, and we found out she slept in there and would have to go in and out through our room. The glass door didn’t look too thick so we would probably be able to hear every fart she did and vice versa. But the thing that freaked me out was the Barbie and Ken in Wedding attire sitting on the lounge. I tried to Bargain her down to €15 together, but my pen wouldn’t write on my sweaty hand. She gave me some paper and I managed to get the pen to work again and wrote €15 on it. She changed glasses so she could read it and then started waving her hands around and sounding sorry. So we decided to leave. We felt bad, but she had a cute sausage dog.
Back at the end of town we looked into the darkness wondering what to do. A sign said “Business Hotel, 300m”, so we went to investigate it. Another German speaking guy told us it was €57 with breakfast, seemed a little steep, then he volunteered to ring a pension in the town for us. It turned out that one of the bars actually had rooms upstairs, only €37 and one room left. So we high tailed there, only 300m, and the guy at the reception said there were no vacancies, I said we just rang and he disappeared for a second before returning and saying there was a room. This guy was very cheerful and spoke good English, he even gave us free glasses of mineral water, I was so excited I gave him a 200 forint tip, which I later found out was about a dollar.
30.08.08 Esztergom
The road out of Gönyü was 25km of trees until Komàrom, there were no bike lanes until one suddenly swung in from the right a few kilometres outside the city, it had the sign for the official Danube bike route, a number 6. I guess it was the road we would have been on if we could have found it. Komàrom was a bit of a shithole, but we rode across the river to the Slovakian side called Komàrno. I think there was a public holiday coz there weren’t many people in the town, and only the ice cream shop was open. Some students doing some initiation rituals asked us to dance with them in the main square so they could earn points. The guy who asked only spoke shit German, so we were confused until another passer-by came and translated for us. The passer-by couldn’t understand our German too well and asked if we were Dutch. Guess it’s still me mixing in Norwegian by accident. I’m still impressed by the fact that I understand and can explain stuff in German, dunno where I learnt that. We danced, ate ice cream and came back over the bridge, another derelict border crossing, must’ve been a pain in the arse back in the day.
We left Komàrom, rode through some kind of industrial area, and a crusty ex-Soviet town with some crumbling apartment blocks that people actually lived in, pretty depressing. Then the road forked so we took the less busy way. We were back riding along the river, would’ve been nicer without the traffic though. There was a kind of beach, so we stopped for a swim, but of course it was windy and the water was cloudy, so no swim.
A few hours and a bunch of small towns later the bike path reappeared, then vanished, then we were in Esztergom. Finally a nice looking town, a lot of old buildings here and a massive church thing on the hill. They even have a Tesco, which isn’t that unusual here in Hungary. It’s open 24 hours so we went there late in the night and got to see what the locals do for fun here. Buy shit. There is an old city centre which reminds me of South America, even though I’ve never been there.
31.08.08 Dunakeszi
We got to relax a bit in Esztergom, it was worth spending some time there to see the town, and we were pretty close to Budapest, so there was no rush. I think by road it was 30 or so kilometres, but the river wound all over so it was probably closer to 50 for us.
We looked at the Basilica, which I thought at first was a castle, then wandered around town. You could walk up the stairs to the roof of the Basilica, and the staircase was a tight spiral used for both up and down. I got to see Bettina’s vertigo in action, especially when some guys who looked like the Hungarian weightlifting team passed us on the way down.
At about 3pm we decided to make a move. There was an ok bike path along the river, except for the big cracks every 10 metres. After half an hour or so it put us back on the road with the cars, though not long after the green sign said the bike path went to the left. A few minutes down the road we were standing on the river side again. They didn’t warm us about the ferry, it wasn’t really cheap either, not even for international standards. It wasn’t even really a ferry, more a barge with a tug boat pulling it along, and when it came to shore it didn’t dock, just floated around so the cars had to drive off when the time was right.
There was a big sign with a map and info about the bike path to Budapest. As soon as we began I got my first flat tyre of the trip. I fixed it and we were on our way. The map showed 2 campsites, one close, and one far, we optimistically believed there might be more along the way. Pretty soon we passed the first one, and after weaving through towns along the river we reached the next one by sunset. Wasn’t much of a campsite, more just the yard behind a restaurant, wasn’t too bad, but the price could have reflected what it actually was. There were some restaurants and stuff along the river bank, so we went looking for food. It’s a bit scary coz we have no idea what stuff is in Hungarian, so if you go off the beaten track you can have trouble ordering. We found out that a Hungarian buffet is not a buffet, just a kind of simple restaurant. This place served fish and chips, and there was a guy that could speak some English, we asked him what kind of fish they had, it was “hack”, can’t remember what it is in English, but it came in 3 sizes, so we asked how big the middle size was, “How big is the middle sized one?” “Not big, middle”. So I ordered that, it was pretty big.
The camping place had some dogs in cages, don’t know who keeps a dog in a cage, it’s not a bird. But they barked at anything that moved, then seemed to cry in between. As we got ready to sleep a band seemed to be warming up in the restaurant. There was also a light in the yard that illuminated our tent completely, this was not good, I tried hanging my sarong over the tent, but it didn’t work. Then I saw in the bushes behind the tent an umbrella stand, and remembered there was a garden umbrella near the dog cages. So I tried to put it up to block the light, but the branches of the trees were in the way, so I got my knife and did some midnight pruning, everything was ready and just as I put the umbrella up the light went out, bastards.
By now the band had started, wasn’t a bad sound, kind of gypsy music, but they continued until 6am, and it seemed like they were playing the same song all night. Finally they finished, yet I could still hear voices, then they started having a sing along on the street, sounded like a lot of them. So not much sleep for me last night.
01.09.08 Budapest
We spent a while relaxing on the beach by the river, and finally had our first swim in the Danube. It was only 15km to Budapest, so we thought it would be an hour at the most. Of course the path vanished straight away. The photo I took of the map on the way showed we had to cross the railway tracks, I could hear trains to the left, so we headed that way. Then the road forked, one way had a dead end sign, and the other was a dusty trail, so we followed it. People lived down here or at least had houses, the track eventually turned and there was another dead end sign. Why they don’t just put a dead end sign at the start is a mystery. Some people managed to explain if we climbed a hill there was another track we could follow. So we dragged the bikes up, and it lead us to a road with a sign that said we were now in Budapest. This was the outskirts, and we had no idea were the centre was, but the trains went south, so we followed them. After twisting left and right a bike path appeared, and it lead us to the centre. We found a place to stay, and of course the woman who worked there was extremely cheerful. Not at all, she seemed annoyed that we were there. I don’t get it, we are paying them money, can’t they at least pretend to smile. I understand the railways and that, they don’t give a shit, but this is a real business.
03.09.08 Budapest
More trouble with these public people. Bettina left yesterday, had to take the plane back to Norway, that meant she needed bubble wrap for the bike, I don’t think many people here know what bubble wrap is. The girl in the post office didn’t speak English, and they didn’t seem to sell any kind of postage accessories. Even my friend Marton didn’t know what it was, but he found out, and found a place we could buy it. So we had to rush, coz the plane left at 1.40pm, which meant check in by 1at the latest. We charged to the place, of course the girl who worked there couldn’t use the till, so it took a few minutes to pay. Then we finally got to the station at 12.05, there was a train leaving now, but where the hell could we buy tickets? It left, and we found the ticket office and were ready to board the 12.20 when the conductor came and said no bikes, she wrote 12.50 on her paper and pointed to the other platform. Bitch. I argued but it was futile, again wit the bikes, I’m sure if it had been a huge suitcase it would’ve been fine. We asked the guy in the ticket office, who didn’t seem to give a fuck, and he said 12.35, which was tight, coz it takes 25 minutes. There was a train at 12.25 that no one seemed to mention, and we tried it, and managed to get on. She was away, now I was just hoping it actually went to the airport and the conductor wasn’t just saying yes to get rid of me.
On my own now I sat in the park, then tried to figure out why my tyre was so flat. I fucked around with it for ages, then decided to head for the campsite I was moving to. On the way I saw a bike shop, so I bought a new pump, thinking it might help. I was getting frustrated with it, these racing tyres need full pressure or the slightest crack pushes through to the rim. Sitting in the grass by the road I was going nuts trying to pump it up. Finally a guy stopped, he couldn’t speak English, but he gave me a valve, which was the best present I’d ever had. It allowed me to pump up the tyre with the same kind of pump you use for cars. Now it all made sense, I still hate racing tyres. I rode all the way up the hill to the campsite, then a few hours later I headed back down to meet Marton. Of course, unbelievably, the most pathetic situation, I got a flat tyre on the way down. The time you gain with racing tyres is directly proportional to the time spent fucking around fixing them. Luckily I had decided to take my pump and repair kit, and managed to fix the bastard and was only 40 minutes late.
Marton took me to a pretty cool bar, kind of old worn out place with a big beer garden. Suddenly it was 3am and we had to leave, he said we could stay at his grandma’s empty flat, as it wasn’t too far away. Marton had no bike, so we stumbled down the street, after about an hour we were half way, and I was ready to lay down and sleep on the road. So we locked the bike behind a petrol station and took a taxi the last 2km.
When I awoke this morning I managed to find the bike, it was unmolested, and ride all the way back up the hill, I was late for breakfast, but they gave me some anyway.
06.09.08 Tata
I spent another day looking around the city, a museum of terror, and the sculpture park. The sculpture park was really far away, I rode there, and there wasn’t much there, it was ok, but kind of expensive. The House of Terror was all about terror under communism and Nazi occupation, there was a lot of stuff, but it was a bit hard to figure out what their point was.
Yesterday I decided it was time to leave, and after midday I was on my way, of course I got a flat tyre within the first kilometre. And I had to climb the whole way over the hill beside the city in the steaming heat. Once I got over it was downhill, with some uphill bits too. Of course there was a head wind, so the flat bits felt like uphill too. Eventually I got to Tatabanya, I had the idea that it was joined to Tata, and after riding around some dreary boondock neighbourhoods I found the way to Tata, which was another 10km away. I decided to stay here, there is a lake, with a strange murky green colour, which I swam in and survived. The woman at the campsite warned me that a bus load of German students was here, so I might want to find a better place to stay. I decided to take my chances with the students and found the quietest spot away from the others. My earplugs did the job, I was deaf all night. You can shut your eyes, but the ears do what they want. It wouldn’t have made much difference if the students weren’t here, across the street is a bar with a band, and behind me is another road with buses and trucks. Of course my tyre was flat when I awoke, so my early start is delayed by fucking around with that.
07.09.08 Sap
The ride was hot yesterday, so I was glad to finally reach the Danube again, it didn’t take long to get to Komarom, and I tried to spend some money before crossing the bridge to Slovakia. I bought some stuff at the Tesco and of course my tyre was flat again as I started to leave, so I walked across the bridge, fixed it, then took the advice of some English people I met outside Tesco, and rode along the road instead of the river.
After 10km on the road I was cooking, and a crossroad that was called Dunaj-something stood before me, I knew dunaj meant Danube, so I took my chances and followed it. I came to the river quickly, and found a place to swim, very nice. I t was a sandy beach, funny that the locals don’t seem to swim in the river, coz I had it all to myself. After relaxing it was time to go, the path was gravel, not just hard dirt, but really deep gravel, it felt like riding in snow. The stupid racer wheels on my bike don’t like that, and the puncture I’d just fixed was going down. I stopped to pump it up, as I sat on the ground I watched my bike slowly lurch over. It doesn’t usually fall over, but I was ready to catch it. Suddenly a loud “crack”, and it was on the ground, I picked it up and realised the stand was gone, snapped right off. Bummer.
I pressed on with the gravel road, and it was pissing me off. There was a normal road that seemed to be winding along beside the dyke I was on. After half an hour or so I switched to where I should’ve switched half an hour before. The road went through villages, but stayed close to the river. Finally I got back to the dyke, this part was paved, so the riding was nice. Darkness was coming, so it was time to find a place to camp. Taking 2 steps down a path leading into the forest I was engulfed by a cloud of mosquitoes, I decided not to camp in the forest. The cloud followed me back out of the forest and attacked me as I worked more on the bike. Luckily they can’t keep up when I ride.
Soon the sun went down and I came to a village very close to the river, opposite was a path past some mountains of gravel, guess they store it here before they pour it over the path. I found a place concealed in the bushes, of course there was another swarm of mosquitoes. Then just to make life easier my tent pole snapped. It first cracked in Stardom a week ago, but I taped it up, now it snapped right where the tape ended. Shit. Improvising I taped a tent peg to it, it seemed to work, but the tent was very crooked.
I relaxed by the river, there were people fishing on the other side, it looked like the had a camp, and huge boats pushing barges up and down the river thundered past occasionally. The swarm followed me to the river, they were all over, like I was wearing a mosquito shirt, yet after some slapping they were gone, guess no new ones came, this was out of their territory.
This morning I see the campers on the other side are right near the water, guess I could’ve done it too instead of hiding in the bushes. Speaking of water, I’m so thirsty and I drank the last 500ml, looks like it’s going to be river water, coz I’m dying.
08.09.08 Outside Bratislava
I stopped in the village as soon as I set off, to get water, there I met some Germans on their way to Budapest, they told me about the bike paths in Czech Republic, funny I didn’t notice them, guess they weren’t in Rumburk, they also told me about another bike route along the river to Dresden, sounds OK.
Pretty soon I had ridden to a dam, wasn’t sure how to pass it, but I ended up going through a small town where I rode around looking for water. I eventually got back to the river, and rode along a big levy they’d built to hold the dam in. It went on for miles, just looking at this levy. I wanted to go through a town called “Horny Bar”, but somehow it slipped by. Of course the tyre was giving me problems, it has some kind of slow leak, so it’s impossible to find, I’ve wasted so much time trying to fix it.
I stopped for a swim, and then powered to Bratislava. I arrived a little after 4 with a half flat tyre. I wanted pizza, the first place I found was full of English/Irish weekend party guys. You can spot them a mile away, always with the white sneakers, now they wear board shorts, in the winter it’s baggy jeans, the same stupid haircut, and football shirts, don’t forget the gold chains. They were all over the restaurant, I don’t think it was one big gang, many small groups, drinking beer and talking about football. Such a pointless conversation, it seems like the generic topic, like most people follow football so they can take part in the same conversation with any complete stranger. Though the typical hairstyle has changed in the 9 years since I was in England, now it’s spikey, before it was combed down and trimmed in a straight line across the forehead. After my pizza I rode through town, then I heard the “hiss” of my tyre giving way. So I stopped to fix it, again. As soon as I put it back on the bike it started going down, I can’t win this. I fucking hate racers. I decided I needed a new tube so I walked to the Tesco near the Pizza restaurant, of course they only had the types for the shitty bikes they sold.
A good hour or 2 wasted on that and I was away, it was getting dark so I was looking for a campsite, nothing came up, all these side roads led to nothing. I gave up and chose the long grass behind the bushes on the side of the road, not really any houses here, but there, behind the grass was an area, where the grass had been trimmed, further from the road, it looked like a campsite, even had a campfire.
As I was setting up the tent I noticed some flashes in the distance, I couldn’t work out what they were, as the sky was clear, maybe some sort of beacon on the river. The flashes became lightning and I saw the clouds rolling in as the wind picked up. Hoping it wasn’t coming this way I lay in the tent watching the walls flail around and counting the time between the flashes and the thunder. It was OK, usually 10 seconds at the least. Then the rain began and I found out my tent is complete shit, that’s why it was so cheap.
I could feel droplets hitting my face within the first few seconds. Then it started pouring and I could feel water coming in everywhere, I tried to put things in safe places, my bike bags are water proof, so I jammed everything into them. Already I could feel the end of my sleeping bag was drenched, and the thunder was getting louder. I had a rain poncho in a bag, so I opened it and tried to cover myself. There I was, curled in a ball in my sleeping bag with a poncho over me in my tent in the middle of a storm. I tried to make sure no part of me hung over my foam mat, hoping it would insulate me it I was struck by lightning. I wondered what would happen to the tent it if was struck, would it melt? In that moment I decided I was gonna catch a train to Berlin in the morning.
The storm finally ended, then had a short reprise before I tried to sleep in my wet sleeping bag. I’ve been waiting 2 hours for the sun to come out so I can dry my shit. I think this campsite is some place where folks walk their dogs, as a few people have wandered in before turning away and leaving. It’s not like it’s my house, they can do what they want, if I could speak Slovakian I’d tell them. I have no water left, so I hope this shit dries soon, coz I’m dying of thirst. Of course my tyre was flat this morning too.
09.09.08 Hustopece
I made it into the Czech republic after 2 very slow days, I hoped to get to Brno today, but the never ending flat tyre saga managed to thwart me. I think I only rode 30km yesterday, after waiting for my stuff to dry I headed off, the first thing I wanted was water, of course the first town didn’t even have a shop, so I pushed on, so thirsty to the next one, they had some supermarkets, so I decided to get a new tube for the bike, but I found no bike shop. I was tempted to but a cheap tent at Lidl, but maybe it’s better to just pay more for one that works.
The path was nice, winding along the Moravia River, it was pretty clearly marked, so it was easy, went through some small towns. Still I felt like I pumped my tyres up every 5 minutes. A few more dead towns with no shops at all finally made me decide to charge to Malacky, it was 4.30 and the sign said it was 16km away, amazingly I was there by 5, but the shop didn’t close until 6 anyway. I got a new tube, and some chocolate, and ginger bread cookies, then I headed out of town. I had passed 3 petrol stations in the last day, but none had a working pump, so the going was sluggish. I went through a few more small towns, now the dusk was in effect, so it was soon time to sleep. These small towns are funny, some of them appear deserted, others have these toothless yokels sitting there watching nothing happen. You could see the increase in wealth as it got closer to Malacky, which wasn’t that great anyway.
So I got back to the river, and headed north along the levy, still these stupid racing wheels made sure I felt the slightest crack. There were these kind of huts by the river, little holiday houses or something, they all have these big net things on a big crane, guess they just dip them in the river a catch dinner. I passed a few, then headed down to where there didn’t seem to be many, of course there was, hidden in the trees, but they looked empty. I found a pretty nice place to camp, by the river, no one around, I could hear there was a train track not too far away, and as I walked around in the night I could hear deer and things running off. There was also a dog barking on the other side of the field, but I saw no lights.
Occasionally in the night I heard fish jumping in the river, they sounded pretty big, guess that’s what the nets are for. I slept well, except for being disturbed by some beast scratching continually at the side of my tent, dunno what it was, but it sounded rat-sized and took some noise to scare off. It was the first night of the journey where I’ve had to do up the sleeping bag all the way. In the morning there was fog everywhere, this was what the German guys I met warned me of, guess that’s why it was so cold. It took a few hours for the Earth to dry, in the meantime a guy was mowing the lawn across the river, so much for solitary wilderness. Funny to think that 15 metres away on the other side is Austria, 20 years ago it would’ve been impossible to camp here, it would’ve all been guarded, even 10 years ago it was still pretty closed. Growing up by the river it’s hard to imagine not being able to cross it. It does create a natural barrier, and it was annoying at times, especially in Winter, but other times we just swam over.
The riding was pretty nice, just cruising along the levy, I’d noticed many small bunkers along the way, then I saw a sign that said they were leftovers from WWII, so I had a closer look. Wow. It seemed like a good place for a toilet break, so I hit the bushes, there was a rustling behind me, and I saw a snake sliding away. Wow, that’s my second snake in Europe, the last was when I just entered Czech Republic, but it was tiny, this one was good size, I only saw it’s tail, but it was round as a sausage, which means it was at least 50cm. I also saw a mole, my first ever, sadly it was dead, amazing how many dead things are on this path, mostly mice and frogs, dunno how they die here without cars. But the mole had very soft shiny fur, and little claws, poor little guy. I think on this trip I’ve seen foxes rabbits, frogs, hedgehogs, a bat, and now a mole, all dead, and a big dead fish by the river.
The road eventually took me to a bridge over to Austria, so I went over. It was funny, I felt home in a way, guess it’s being able to understand the language or something. I found a petrol station and pumped up my tyres, then decided to head north for the Czech border.
The going was good, smooth roads, full tyres, too good to be true I was thinking, and it was, 30 seconds later there was the hiss of my back tyre going down. It was the new tube. I hate racing bikes. So I fixed it and moved on, I saw a map that said the road I was on went straight over the border, it didn’t say that it turned into a jungle trail. The border crossing was just a gate in the forest, best one yet. After the forest the road became this kind of concrete block thing, like giant lego pieces. There were signs for bikes showing the way, so I followed. Then “hiss” again, this time it was the front wheel, I hate racing bikes. I fixed it and headed into the town, then I found the bike path I needed, it was pretty cool, through a big forest, winding all over.
The front wheel was still a bit flat, so I stopped to pump it up, but now the whole valve snapped off. I fucking hate racing bikes. So I put the other old tube on, but its valve wasn’t willing to cooperate and it spat all the air out. So back to the slow leaker I replaced yesterday. I was so proud of that front tyre, it seemed so sturdy, so reliable, but no…. Now the slow leaker meant every 10km or so was pump time.
A small town had a bike shop, but it was closed, so I sat on the side of the road and decided it was time to get a train to Berlin. Then I got up and started heading here, Hustopece, somehow I lost the bike path, but fuck it, it was winding round in the forest going nowhere. The normal roads brought me here, and I saw on the sign there was a camping place, so I checked in. I needed a night free of storms, mosquitoes, rats, giant fish, and dry old bread. There is a restaurant here, I ordered too much, but it was good, potato pancake with sausage, and some bean stew, I thought they’d be small coz they were so cheap, but no. I think it’s a bit of a local hang out, coz there are some drunken old dudes who don’t look like campers. Hopefully there’s a bike shop in the town, then to Brno.
20.08.08 Luckau
I finally made it out of Berlin, my plan was to stay 1 day, but the guy who fixed my bike was slow, well, he had to order a wheel, dunno what kind of bike shop has no wheels in store. When the wheel came it was the wrong type, which meant he had to get the right one and that took another day.
It doesn’t help that Toby lives in Neuköln, this guy was the only bike shop I found, and I had a perfectly timed bronchitis attack which meant I couldn’t go and look around coz I felt like shit. I’m quite disappointed by Neuköln, I thought since David Bowie wrote a song about it, it must be pretty cool, but it’s not, it sucks arse. Not to say bad things about the Turks, but it’s full of Turks, no one speaks German on the main street, except for the few remaining lost-causes. And the main street is nothing but kebab shops, €1 shops, and sports betting. How can everyone in society run a kebab shop? Who fixes the sewer? Or does all the other stuff? “Who needs a sewer when you have kebabs?” Still, the kebabs are pretty good, I’m not racist, I hate everyone equally. I just hate stereotypes, and people who go round in groups acting like a group.
Anyway, I rode 85km or so to this place, I’m in a field just outside a town, I was a bit slow getting away, but I think I’ve made good distance. The problem is the small path on the other side turned out to be a road, and I’m pretty close and people drive and ride up it now and then. I feel like a criminal out here, illegally camping in someone’s field. But what am I stealing? Grass growing time? The field has been recently cut, I guess they were growoing hay here, which means there’s still all these harcore tufts of grass that are pushing under the tent.
The bike goes pretty well, really fast, good gears, except the racing wheels make it feel like it’s gonna explode on the smallest cracks. Some dude rode along beside me and was complementing me for how fast I was going. He was riding an old woman’s bike and struggling to keep up. When I told him I was going to Czech Republic he nearly threw up. Then he told me the way, as if I hadn’t thought of that myself. I went through a lot of small villages, really weird places, most seemed deserted, and when there were people they were almost always old, with terrible clothes, Anyway, the torch is dying, so I have to get new batteries tomorrow.
21.08.08 Bautzen
I think I must have ridden about 115km today, which makes it 200km over 2 days. And I’m sore, dunno what that thing is called, behind the balls, maybe the perenium or something, the crode? Well it’s pretty swollen, sore, and my dick is numb, well the whole region is, guess there are nerves going through there that have been drilled. It’s funny, I can feel there’s something there in my pants, but it doesn’t feel like it belongs to me. I’m just outside bautzen, which is easily the nicest town I’ve come across so far, before that was Hoyerswerda, which was not too bad, but this place wins. I was wondering why all the towns had Polish names on the signs too, since Poland was moved west after WWII, there should be German names in Poland, not the other way around. Then I realised it’s Czech, so this area must have been Czech before, which explains why Bautzen is nice, built in the Bohemian style, lot’s of churches and on a sharp bend in the river. I ate at a Chinese restaurant, wasn’t even that hungry, just wanted to sit inside and draw for a bit. I was tempted to try and get a bed in the hostel, sounded nice. But no, the tent prevails, and I found a pretty good place, outside the town, a nice grassy field hidden by a long grove of trees. I had to walk across the field in pitch black, not sure what I would find, but it paid off.
There’s a factory just behind some trees, they are making some noises, and a large blue light is shining, but it’s ok. I passed a lot of crosses on the road today, memorials, I just hoped they were for drunk drivers, and not cyclists run over by drunk drivers. The roads are ok, at some parts you get a special bike path on the side, that’s nice, others you are with the cars. There isn’t much shoulder on these roads, the white line is about 15cm, and there’s about 15 more of black, so I’ve gotten pretty good at sitting on the white line. At the first bit this morning it must’ve bee about 12km dead straight, kind of boring, but interesting too, just watching the line for 30 minutes. It’s been almost completely flat, except for the last hour, where it started going up and down a bit. I fear tomorrow will be more up and down.
I can’t believe how many dead-beat little towns I passed through, all with the same eerie feeling, like everyone is looking out the windows wondering who I was, with the curtains closed of course. If there was someone on the street it was always an old person, terribly dressed, not saying I’m the king og style, but there are limits. I think tomorrow I’ll cross the border and take some trains, my butt needs a rest. It’s a funny thing this, don’t know why I’m doing it, guess I wanted to push myself a bit, see if I could do it, and feel some pain. I find myself thinking out loud, talking to myself while doing things, or talking to the bike.
One thing I discovered is that Germans don’t like giving away water or free toilet usage. I was up nice and early this morning, after having all these weird dreams about people coming up and opening my tent and stuff. It didn’t help that something that sounded like a gun was making noises through the night. So I went back into Luckau, hoping to quickly fill up my bottles before I left, but there wasn’t a single tap anywhere, I finally gave up, after even climbing into someone’s yard, only to find the hose had no water source, and I was on my way out of the town when I saw a tap beside a building, so I quickly filled up and escaped before someone came out demanding money. As fro toilets, I don’t think there is a single free toilet in the whole land. Every time you go in there is a troll woman who is most concerned with making sure you put your money on the plate than actually cleaning, luckily there are pissoirs scattered about, but if you are a girl you have no choice, and there’s something that doesn’t feel right about paying for a toilet.
22.08.08 A train in the Czech Republic
I felt guilty about buying a train ticket, like it’s cheating on the mission. But my arse and legs need a rest, I was dying. Then it looked so cheap and easy to get a train right across the whole country I couldn’t say no. But of course, nothing is that easy, and I don’t feel guilty anymore. The women who worked in the staion at Rumburk were pretty useless. They even had a bed with cushions for resting after selling too many tickets. It was the first town I came to after crossing the border, funny, 9 years ago when I came here I needed a visa, had to get all these stamps from where I stayed, they came on the bus and inspected everyone. Now I only knew I’d crossed the border by the sign and the roads becoming crustier. Of course I was almost run over in the first minute by some moron who wanted to take a left and just swung out before noticing me and stopping. I was watching him approach wondering where he was going when I suddenly realised he was coming for me and I hit the brakes. Luckily he saw me at the last minute. I rode to the next town (Rumburk) and looked around, trying to figure out where to go. When I asked the woman in the shop if she spoke English she said German, so I asked her the way and she told me in Czech. Then I saw the station where the other 2 women who can’t speak either language worked. I showed them my bike, and they said it was cool and gave me a route which looked pretty easy. Then I got on this little local train that charged down some wobbly tracks through the mountains to another town (Dêcin) and I tried to get on the train that would take me all the way when the conductor said I couldn’t take my bike. Fucker. So there was no more guilt coz now I was sitting there with my ticket for the whole country wondering how to get across. After an hour of waiting a train came for Prague, it was a nice ride and I looked out the window all the way at the country side. Oh, I forgot to mention the Nazi bitch at Dêcin who when I asked for help just yelled at me in Czech and pointed to a wall with all these timetables on it. I was confused in Prague, I didn’t remember the station looking like that, and I had no idea where I was gonna go, and which trains I could take my bike on. I finally found an info desk, and waiting in line I found the piece of paper in my pocket with the first route I asked for to Jihlava, when I saw there was a transfer in Kolin, and I’d just seen on the board there was a train for Kolin. So I ran out and saw the conductor from the last train and asked him in German if I could take my bike. He paused from buying his hotdog and said “Kein problem”, so I ran and jumped on. This was a modern train, called a “City Elefant”, don’t ask me why, but it was slow as an elephant. Of course the info screen said nothing about Kolin, it was all in Czech so I had no idea anyway, I asked a guy where we were going and he pointed on my map to a town on the other side of Kolin, so I thought it was cool. Still no info about Kolin had appeared on the screen, by now I’d learned the Czech words fro “next station” and some other things I’ve already forgotten. Stanice is station though, hurrah, I know 4 Czech words- pivo, dobri, voda. I asked another person, a girl, and she said it went to Kolin, then I said it’s not on the board and she said “Oh yeah, you have to be in the front half”. A simple train ride is a real mission. So I got in the front, after splitting the train sat there for ages before leaving, though I made it to Kolin in time with 5 minutes to spare, and here I am on the train I would’ve been on if I’d relaxed 3 hours in Rumburk and taken a train straight through. It would’ve been cheaper too, but I wouldn’t have been able to look out the window at the country side.
I was actually going to buy bike pants today, with the padded crutch, sounds funny, but it hurts to ride, guess I should have a cushioned seat. Hopefully my butt will have healed today, and I’ll be able to go on tomorrow. The strange thing is that I felt my strength return as soon as I crossed the border, maybe it was knowing I’d reached a goal, or the banana milk I bought just as I left Germany.
It’s funny sleeping in the fields, you feel kind of like an animal, sneaking around in the darkness looking for a place the humans won’t find you. Doesn’t help that I haven’t showered in 3 days. I did have a swim in a lake yesterday, but I thought the nudists might yell at me if I took my soap in and started lathering up their beautiful lake.
23.08.08 Vienna
It was hard to explain to the train conductors and folks that I just wanted to head south. So I pointed to a on the map, Znojmo, then they figured that was where I was going, but I didn’t really care, just south. The last train I managed to get went to Okrisky, there was one going a bit further, but not to Znojmo, so they didn’t let me on it. It turned out ok. The station master was a friendly old guy, who could tell me in German “Am morgen, sechs uhr” which was that there was a train tomorrow at 6. Then he invited me to sleep in the waiting room, “Hier, Schlafen”. I was going to head out and pitch my tent, but the waiting room seemed ok. I put my bags under the bench and strapped them on, then pulled my hat over my eyes and slept. The lights were on all night, and the coffee machine rumbled loudly, but I got some sleep. And at 6am I was on the train. These little trains are more like trams, or buses, one carriage on the tracks that wobbles all over before stopping abruptly. The drivers always stop abruptly, as if they forgot about the next station.
So from Znojmo I was back on my bike, my butt hurt less and pretty soon I was passing a lot of casinos, finally I came to this giant complex, like a Disney castle, all plastic with plastic dragons on the top that sporadically breathed not flame, but what looked like gas from a fire extinguisher. This meant I was very close to the border, but I wonder how this works now that the border is open. A few minutes later I came to the remains of the actual crossing, with the abandoned customs officer’s house and other buildings half torn down. I think this is where I crossed 9 years ago and the guard was very angry coz I hadn’t gotten stamps from the places I stayed. Then he asked how much money I had, luckily it was about $2, so he told me to go and said “next time, you do not leave”. Yet now it was empty, falling to pieces.
Being back in Austria meant the roads were better, well not back in Austria, back in the west, so to speak. The road suddenly got wider and the cars were faster. I saw some small side rides, and figured it would be better to ride on them. Luckily the Austrians don’t like to let cyclists know where the small roads go, so when mine started heading down into a valley and veering away, I had faith in that it would swing back. But no, it just headed straight into some trees and ended. Which meant I had to walk all the way back up and get on the road with the cars. So now it was time for some food. I saw I could push my bike up the steep slope behind me and get back on the road there. After eating I dragged the bike up, the whole hill was covered in thistles, they had been cut and were lying dry all over the place. But it was too easy, when I got to the top I saw the impenetrable animal fence which I had no chance of getting over. So I finally wheeled the bike down, and went all the way back up the path to the point where I thought I was so cool riding on this old road with no traffic, and found a way down onto the road and rode down the hill,. It was a long hill, and the cars were fast, so I was scared, my hat started to feel like it was gonna fly off, yet I couldn’t stop, eventually I just grabbed it and held it in my hand all the way. The worst thing about riding is the cars, you hear them coming behind you, and each time you think “ I hope he’s seen me”. It only takes one dick to be playing with his stereo, switching between Euro trash collections, and bam! I’ll be splattered across the road.
The area was Austrian wine country, so it was different, pretty hilly, so I decided to walk the bike up the steep hills and give my butt a break. Eventually I came to Hollabrun, these places are insignificant, but to me they are small goals, from town to town I give myself little breaks. Leaving Hollabrun I again found myself on the highway, and saw a smaller old road running parallel that conveniently had no signs showing the way. I thought I could just climb over to it, but then I saw the barrier and the 7 metre almost cliff down. So I was forced to stay with the cars that seemed to be going faster. After climbing the hill the gap between the roads became 1 metre and I jumped down. Now I was happy, it was down hill with no cars, still no signs to tell me where the hell to go. I came to another small town, and managed to guess which way to go, finally ending up on a smaller road that diverged from the highway and would take me to a bridge over the Danube. I went through a few villages, past some farms, saw that potatoes are called “Erd Äpfel” in Austria, not “Kartoffel” like in Germany.
Another bike path appeared, so I got on it. This had small green signs with a bike and a number. So if you know the numbers you can go anywhere, I didn’t. Then the path split, and the numbers went up a hill and away from the road I was following, so I decided to follow the numberless road that seemed to go in my direction. The asphalt ended, but the rocky road wasn’t too bad, this was a corn growing area, and I was happy to be rolling on the mellow slope between the cornfields. The hills ended and a plain opened up so I figured the Danube wasn’t too far away. The asphalt also came back and I came to a village where a woman gave me directions. Half an hour or so later I was crossing the Danube, after having crossed a small creek just before it thinking “Is this the Danube? It’s shit.” But no, the river is wide, and from here it was smooth riding along the path by the river, almost too easy.
28.08.08 Outside Rajka, Hungary
After resting for 2 days in Vienna I was joined by my travelling companion Bettina, who will be coming to Budapest- We spent a few hours in the city before riding along the south bank of the Danube. The road wasn’t clearly marked, but we figured as long as we were by the river we would be on the bike trail. Then we came to another ambiguous junction, the road swung inland, and there was no clear path. There was a port area near the river, and a sign that said “Cemetery of the Nameless”, so we figured the path must continue on the other side. There was a path there, and signs that said “Private”, “No bikes”, but the path seemed to follow the river. It was a kind of area with small beach houses, what they didn’t have was a sign that said “dead end”. So we wasted half an hour riding through there waiting for each resident to come out and yell at us before coming to the very end where a woman working in her garden told us it was impossible to get through. So we rode back to the port area, I hate riding backwards. Then we decided to follow the road, it swung around a bit and eventually crossed a bike path, so we followed it thinking it must be the way, then it just ended.
So we followed the road, it seemed to be going to the autobahn, but there was a path to the side which took us into a forest kind of thing after passing the wonderful stench of the sewage treatment plant. The forest was a kind of swampy area, sort of like what I imagine Florida is like, and the road ended up turning 180° and then going under the autobahn. At this point we checked the map and decided to go back to Vienna as the road was gone and there was nowhere to cross the river for miles. It’s interesting how few crossings there are for the river, but my map is for cars, so it doesn’t show foot bridges and the like. After going back for half an hour or so we found a bridge, and it had signs, so we crossed over to the island in the middle, then we found a smaller bridge and were on the other side. There I saw some signs that led us through some industrial areas to another swamp with a dyke next to it. Dykes are the go here, and most of today’s path followed them. Interesting that the dykes are so straight, but the roads swing all over the place.
The dead straight road took us to a one bar town outside Vienna, the bar was closing as we arrived around 8. Funny that this town was so close to Vienna but it felt like it was in the middle of nowhere. 3km Later there was a bigger town with a restaurant that specialised in fish, which is special in landlocked Austria. We had to find a place to sleep so after dinner we rode to the next town where I saw a hedgehog trying to hide from me in the hedges. Next to the town was a forest, it was a bit scary in the dark and I didn’t want to pitch the tent in there. In the distance the small Jesus shrine with a candle looked like a witches house or something, who comes into the forest to light a candle and stick pictures of Jesus on a tree? The forest opened to a field, and we could see a building with a light only 100m away and hear dogs. But there were some bushes so we pitched the tent behind them and I went to sleep hoping no angry farmer would come and yell at us in the morning.
At around 3am the rooster competition began, I thought it must’ve been at least 4.30, but Bettina checked the clock. Very enthusiastic birds, they kept at it until well after sunrise. Occasionally the dogs would join in and there was some kind of animal in the forest that sounded like a Walrus having an orgasm while throwing up that screamed out a few times.
We got up early to beat the farmer and I discovered we were sleeping in the capital city of the land of the slugs. Now I know the colour of slug shit is green. We packed the tent and were away by 7.30 as I realised the farm house so near was just part of a sports field. As we rode along the dyke again I saw many nice areas we could’ve slept, too late now.
The riding was easy, very flat, and we crossed the bridge to Hainburg and had a look around before heading to Bratislava. Another dead border crossing and a new type of money. You can see the people in Slovakia aren’t Austrian, I guess the Austrians are pretty ugly, yeah Arnie.
So we checked out Bratislava, pretty nice, they have a castle on the hill and the old city. Next to the city is a kind of Legoland of modern apartment blacks in all colours, like a city of it’s own. Then back to the bike path, or back to trying to find the bike path. It seemed everyone on bikes and roller blades were going the same way. And we saw the same couple we’d passed already 3 or 4 times before since breakfast. Now I understood why there were so few people in the city, they were all riding bikes and blades on the path. But it’s not true, there were shitloads of people here, but still a lot in the city. The path turned into a dyke again, and the lack of signs meant we followed it for hours until it ended with an old faded map on a board.
After examining the map and checking my compass we decided to head to a village near the border, and after half an hour or less we suddenly realised we were in Hungary, 3 countries in 1 day, now that’s travelling. We only knew we were in Hungary coz of the number plates on the cars. We passed through Rajka pretty quick and were rolling along a country road as I was looking for a good place to set up tent. When suddenly I saw tents through the trees, it was a campsite. Hurrah, a shower. The cheerful (not) guy who worked there only spoke a little German, but we got a nice place by the river and relaxed. The only other guests were what seemed to be a school group and I dunno how long it was, but the girls sounded like they were talking all night. Still it was nice to sleep without dreaming of angry farmers tearing the tent apart or being shat all over by slugs. So we’ll see where this road takes us today.
29.08.08 Gönyü
Gönyü is a boring town in the middle of nowhere, on the Danube. I dunno how we got here, yesterday we rode through hundreds of dull little towns before we reached Györ. Györ was pretty nice, in contrast to the other towns, it has an old centre, with classical architecture, don’t ask me what kind though. Yet most of the small towns we passed through could easily be mistaken for any little town in USA, or even Australia. The typical boring houses, one shop, one or two funny looking people on the streets. Though there seems to be a lot of development, many new houses being built around the towns. Sadly in that plain modern American suburban style, guess it’s nicer than the communist relics we passed.
After eating in Györ we looked at a map of the bike path on an info sign. It looked like a good map, and it showed the road split here, we wanted to get back near the Danube so we could swim, so we followed the road towards Komarom. Everything was going well when suddenly the bike path vanished, not the first time. I asked a policeman and he explained to me in German that we should go straight ahead. Everyone speaks German here, I don’t even bother asking for English. In Mosonmagyarovar, the first biggish town we passed there were German signs for dentists. It’s pretty close to the border I guess, a nice old centre surrounded by crumbling cold war apartment blocks.
So we went straight ahead, it was around 7pm and we passed a camping place just outside the city. Being optimists we decided to ride on and see if we found anything better. There was no bike lane, so it was a bit uncomfortable riding with the cars, at least it was still light. Suddenly a bike lane appeared, it took us over a bridge above a train track and disappeared just as suddenly. Now there was a sign on the road that said no bikes. Looking around we saw to the left a whole lot of new roads for some kind of development, maybe housing or industry, and a guy making sure no one drove on them. He spoke only Hungarian, so he wasn’t much help. Soon some guy arrived in a car and they jabbered a bit, then he waited in the car a minute before opening the door and explaining in German that there was a town a few kilometres down the road. We glanced down, still unsure about the dangerous road. There weren’t many cars on it, and suddenly out of the darkness a massive fat guy came riding a bike towards us, he even moved into the centre lane to make a left turn. So if he could ride on this road so could we.
As we rode towards the town I was scoping around for good camping sites in the fields. We were close to the Danube so it was that Florida style swampy shit again, and I wasn’t keen to invade another slug kingdom.
In the town it was pretty bleak, like one of these coastal towns in Australia, one main road and a bunch of side roads going to the beach. There were a few bars and some signs that said “Zimmer Frei”, which means “Room Free” in German. These signs were permanently placed, so I dunno what happens when someone rents them. At the end of the towns we saw it was more of nothing for 25km or so. So we decided to try a room, the first one we found had a bell on the gate. An old woman came out, but she couldn’t speak English or German, only €10 each (zehn Euro). I dunno why, but I carried on in German with her, and she looked confused and said stuff in Hungarian. Finally she understood that we wanted to see the room. It wasn’t really a room, more her living room, so the décor was that of an old Hungarian woman, kind of art deco pink lounges, a brown old shelf thing with glass doors and doilies around, and some religious pictures on the wall. Then we saw we would sleep on these 2 beds in the corners, through some glass doors was another room with a bed, and we found out she slept in there and would have to go in and out through our room. The glass door didn’t look too thick so we would probably be able to hear every fart she did and vice versa. But the thing that freaked me out was the Barbie and Ken in Wedding attire sitting on the lounge. I tried to Bargain her down to €15 together, but my pen wouldn’t write on my sweaty hand. She gave me some paper and I managed to get the pen to work again and wrote €15 on it. She changed glasses so she could read it and then started waving her hands around and sounding sorry. So we decided to leave. We felt bad, but she had a cute sausage dog.
Back at the end of town we looked into the darkness wondering what to do. A sign said “Business Hotel, 300m”, so we went to investigate it. Another German speaking guy told us it was €57 with breakfast, seemed a little steep, then he volunteered to ring a pension in the town for us. It turned out that one of the bars actually had rooms upstairs, only €37 and one room left. So we high tailed there, only 300m, and the guy at the reception said there were no vacancies, I said we just rang and he disappeared for a second before returning and saying there was a room. This guy was very cheerful and spoke good English, he even gave us free glasses of mineral water, I was so excited I gave him a 200 forint tip, which I later found out was about a dollar.
30.08.08 Esztergom
The road out of Gönyü was 25km of trees until Komàrom, there were no bike lanes until one suddenly swung in from the right a few kilometres outside the city, it had the sign for the official Danube bike route, a number 6. I guess it was the road we would have been on if we could have found it. Komàrom was a bit of a shithole, but we rode across the river to the Slovakian side called Komàrno. I think there was a public holiday coz there weren’t many people in the town, and only the ice cream shop was open. Some students doing some initiation rituals asked us to dance with them in the main square so they could earn points. The guy who asked only spoke shit German, so we were confused until another passer-by came and translated for us. The passer-by couldn’t understand our German too well and asked if we were Dutch. Guess it’s still me mixing in Norwegian by accident. I’m still impressed by the fact that I understand and can explain stuff in German, dunno where I learnt that. We danced, ate ice cream and came back over the bridge, another derelict border crossing, must’ve been a pain in the arse back in the day.
We left Komàrom, rode through some kind of industrial area, and a crusty ex-Soviet town with some crumbling apartment blocks that people actually lived in, pretty depressing. Then the road forked so we took the less busy way. We were back riding along the river, would’ve been nicer without the traffic though. There was a kind of beach, so we stopped for a swim, but of course it was windy and the water was cloudy, so no swim.
A few hours and a bunch of small towns later the bike path reappeared, then vanished, then we were in Esztergom. Finally a nice looking town, a lot of old buildings here and a massive church thing on the hill. They even have a Tesco, which isn’t that unusual here in Hungary. It’s open 24 hours so we went there late in the night and got to see what the locals do for fun here. Buy shit. There is an old city centre which reminds me of South America, even though I’ve never been there.
31.08.08 Dunakeszi
We got to relax a bit in Esztergom, it was worth spending some time there to see the town, and we were pretty close to Budapest, so there was no rush. I think by road it was 30 or so kilometres, but the river wound all over so it was probably closer to 50 for us.
We looked at the Basilica, which I thought at first was a castle, then wandered around town. You could walk up the stairs to the roof of the Basilica, and the staircase was a tight spiral used for both up and down. I got to see Bettina’s vertigo in action, especially when some guys who looked like the Hungarian weightlifting team passed us on the way down.
At about 3pm we decided to make a move. There was an ok bike path along the river, except for the big cracks every 10 metres. After half an hour or so it put us back on the road with the cars, though not long after the green sign said the bike path went to the left. A few minutes down the road we were standing on the river side again. They didn’t warm us about the ferry, it wasn’t really cheap either, not even for international standards. It wasn’t even really a ferry, more a barge with a tug boat pulling it along, and when it came to shore it didn’t dock, just floated around so the cars had to drive off when the time was right.
There was a big sign with a map and info about the bike path to Budapest. As soon as we began I got my first flat tyre of the trip. I fixed it and we were on our way. The map showed 2 campsites, one close, and one far, we optimistically believed there might be more along the way. Pretty soon we passed the first one, and after weaving through towns along the river we reached the next one by sunset. Wasn’t much of a campsite, more just the yard behind a restaurant, wasn’t too bad, but the price could have reflected what it actually was. There were some restaurants and stuff along the river bank, so we went looking for food. It’s a bit scary coz we have no idea what stuff is in Hungarian, so if you go off the beaten track you can have trouble ordering. We found out that a Hungarian buffet is not a buffet, just a kind of simple restaurant. This place served fish and chips, and there was a guy that could speak some English, we asked him what kind of fish they had, it was “hack”, can’t remember what it is in English, but it came in 3 sizes, so we asked how big the middle size was, “How big is the middle sized one?” “Not big, middle”. So I ordered that, it was pretty big.
The camping place had some dogs in cages, don’t know who keeps a dog in a cage, it’s not a bird. But they barked at anything that moved, then seemed to cry in between. As we got ready to sleep a band seemed to be warming up in the restaurant. There was also a light in the yard that illuminated our tent completely, this was not good, I tried hanging my sarong over the tent, but it didn’t work. Then I saw in the bushes behind the tent an umbrella stand, and remembered there was a garden umbrella near the dog cages. So I tried to put it up to block the light, but the branches of the trees were in the way, so I got my knife and did some midnight pruning, everything was ready and just as I put the umbrella up the light went out, bastards.
By now the band had started, wasn’t a bad sound, kind of gypsy music, but they continued until 6am, and it seemed like they were playing the same song all night. Finally they finished, yet I could still hear voices, then they started having a sing along on the street, sounded like a lot of them. So not much sleep for me last night.
01.09.08 Budapest
We spent a while relaxing on the beach by the river, and finally had our first swim in the Danube. It was only 15km to Budapest, so we thought it would be an hour at the most. Of course the path vanished straight away. The photo I took of the map on the way showed we had to cross the railway tracks, I could hear trains to the left, so we headed that way. Then the road forked, one way had a dead end sign, and the other was a dusty trail, so we followed it. People lived down here or at least had houses, the track eventually turned and there was another dead end sign. Why they don’t just put a dead end sign at the start is a mystery. Some people managed to explain if we climbed a hill there was another track we could follow. So we dragged the bikes up, and it lead us to a road with a sign that said we were now in Budapest. This was the outskirts, and we had no idea were the centre was, but the trains went south, so we followed them. After twisting left and right a bike path appeared, and it lead us to the centre. We found a place to stay, and of course the woman who worked there was extremely cheerful. Not at all, she seemed annoyed that we were there. I don’t get it, we are paying them money, can’t they at least pretend to smile. I understand the railways and that, they don’t give a shit, but this is a real business.
03.09.08 Budapest
More trouble with these public people. Bettina left yesterday, had to take the plane back to Norway, that meant she needed bubble wrap for the bike, I don’t think many people here know what bubble wrap is. The girl in the post office didn’t speak English, and they didn’t seem to sell any kind of postage accessories. Even my friend Marton didn’t know what it was, but he found out, and found a place we could buy it. So we had to rush, coz the plane left at 1.40pm, which meant check in by 1at the latest. We charged to the place, of course the girl who worked there couldn’t use the till, so it took a few minutes to pay. Then we finally got to the station at 12.05, there was a train leaving now, but where the hell could we buy tickets? It left, and we found the ticket office and were ready to board the 12.20 when the conductor came and said no bikes, she wrote 12.50 on her paper and pointed to the other platform. Bitch. I argued but it was futile, again wit the bikes, I’m sure if it had been a huge suitcase it would’ve been fine. We asked the guy in the ticket office, who didn’t seem to give a fuck, and he said 12.35, which was tight, coz it takes 25 minutes. There was a train at 12.25 that no one seemed to mention, and we tried it, and managed to get on. She was away, now I was just hoping it actually went to the airport and the conductor wasn’t just saying yes to get rid of me.
On my own now I sat in the park, then tried to figure out why my tyre was so flat. I fucked around with it for ages, then decided to head for the campsite I was moving to. On the way I saw a bike shop, so I bought a new pump, thinking it might help. I was getting frustrated with it, these racing tyres need full pressure or the slightest crack pushes through to the rim. Sitting in the grass by the road I was going nuts trying to pump it up. Finally a guy stopped, he couldn’t speak English, but he gave me a valve, which was the best present I’d ever had. It allowed me to pump up the tyre with the same kind of pump you use for cars. Now it all made sense, I still hate racing tyres. I rode all the way up the hill to the campsite, then a few hours later I headed back down to meet Marton. Of course, unbelievably, the most pathetic situation, I got a flat tyre on the way down. The time you gain with racing tyres is directly proportional to the time spent fucking around fixing them. Luckily I had decided to take my pump and repair kit, and managed to fix the bastard and was only 40 minutes late.
Marton took me to a pretty cool bar, kind of old worn out place with a big beer garden. Suddenly it was 3am and we had to leave, he said we could stay at his grandma’s empty flat, as it wasn’t too far away. Marton had no bike, so we stumbled down the street, after about an hour we were half way, and I was ready to lay down and sleep on the road. So we locked the bike behind a petrol station and took a taxi the last 2km.
When I awoke this morning I managed to find the bike, it was unmolested, and ride all the way back up the hill, I was late for breakfast, but they gave me some anyway.
06.09.08 Tata
I spent another day looking around the city, a museum of terror, and the sculpture park. The sculpture park was really far away, I rode there, and there wasn’t much there, it was ok, but kind of expensive. The House of Terror was all about terror under communism and Nazi occupation, there was a lot of stuff, but it was a bit hard to figure out what their point was.
Yesterday I decided it was time to leave, and after midday I was on my way, of course I got a flat tyre within the first kilometre. And I had to climb the whole way over the hill beside the city in the steaming heat. Once I got over it was downhill, with some uphill bits too. Of course there was a head wind, so the flat bits felt like uphill too. Eventually I got to Tatabanya, I had the idea that it was joined to Tata, and after riding around some dreary boondock neighbourhoods I found the way to Tata, which was another 10km away. I decided to stay here, there is a lake, with a strange murky green colour, which I swam in and survived. The woman at the campsite warned me that a bus load of German students was here, so I might want to find a better place to stay. I decided to take my chances with the students and found the quietest spot away from the others. My earplugs did the job, I was deaf all night. You can shut your eyes, but the ears do what they want. It wouldn’t have made much difference if the students weren’t here, across the street is a bar with a band, and behind me is another road with buses and trucks. Of course my tyre was flat when I awoke, so my early start is delayed by fucking around with that.
07.09.08 Sap
The ride was hot yesterday, so I was glad to finally reach the Danube again, it didn’t take long to get to Komarom, and I tried to spend some money before crossing the bridge to Slovakia. I bought some stuff at the Tesco and of course my tyre was flat again as I started to leave, so I walked across the bridge, fixed it, then took the advice of some English people I met outside Tesco, and rode along the road instead of the river.
After 10km on the road I was cooking, and a crossroad that was called Dunaj-something stood before me, I knew dunaj meant Danube, so I took my chances and followed it. I came to the river quickly, and found a place to swim, very nice. I t was a sandy beach, funny that the locals don’t seem to swim in the river, coz I had it all to myself. After relaxing it was time to go, the path was gravel, not just hard dirt, but really deep gravel, it felt like riding in snow. The stupid racer wheels on my bike don’t like that, and the puncture I’d just fixed was going down. I stopped to pump it up, as I sat on the ground I watched my bike slowly lurch over. It doesn’t usually fall over, but I was ready to catch it. Suddenly a loud “crack”, and it was on the ground, I picked it up and realised the stand was gone, snapped right off. Bummer.
I pressed on with the gravel road, and it was pissing me off. There was a normal road that seemed to be winding along beside the dyke I was on. After half an hour or so I switched to where I should’ve switched half an hour before. The road went through villages, but stayed close to the river. Finally I got back to the dyke, this part was paved, so the riding was nice. Darkness was coming, so it was time to find a place to camp. Taking 2 steps down a path leading into the forest I was engulfed by a cloud of mosquitoes, I decided not to camp in the forest. The cloud followed me back out of the forest and attacked me as I worked more on the bike. Luckily they can’t keep up when I ride.
Soon the sun went down and I came to a village very close to the river, opposite was a path past some mountains of gravel, guess they store it here before they pour it over the path. I found a place concealed in the bushes, of course there was another swarm of mosquitoes. Then just to make life easier my tent pole snapped. It first cracked in Stardom a week ago, but I taped it up, now it snapped right where the tape ended. Shit. Improvising I taped a tent peg to it, it seemed to work, but the tent was very crooked.
I relaxed by the river, there were people fishing on the other side, it looked like the had a camp, and huge boats pushing barges up and down the river thundered past occasionally. The swarm followed me to the river, they were all over, like I was wearing a mosquito shirt, yet after some slapping they were gone, guess no new ones came, this was out of their territory.
This morning I see the campers on the other side are right near the water, guess I could’ve done it too instead of hiding in the bushes. Speaking of water, I’m so thirsty and I drank the last 500ml, looks like it’s going to be river water, coz I’m dying.
08.09.08 Outside Bratislava
I stopped in the village as soon as I set off, to get water, there I met some Germans on their way to Budapest, they told me about the bike paths in Czech Republic, funny I didn’t notice them, guess they weren’t in Rumburk, they also told me about another bike route along the river to Dresden, sounds OK.
Pretty soon I had ridden to a dam, wasn’t sure how to pass it, but I ended up going through a small town where I rode around looking for water. I eventually got back to the river, and rode along a big levy they’d built to hold the dam in. It went on for miles, just looking at this levy. I wanted to go through a town called “Horny Bar”, but somehow it slipped by. Of course the tyre was giving me problems, it has some kind of slow leak, so it’s impossible to find, I’ve wasted so much time trying to fix it.
I stopped for a swim, and then powered to Bratislava. I arrived a little after 4 with a half flat tyre. I wanted pizza, the first place I found was full of English/Irish weekend party guys. You can spot them a mile away, always with the white sneakers, now they wear board shorts, in the winter it’s baggy jeans, the same stupid haircut, and football shirts, don’t forget the gold chains. They were all over the restaurant, I don’t think it was one big gang, many small groups, drinking beer and talking about football. Such a pointless conversation, it seems like the generic topic, like most people follow football so they can take part in the same conversation with any complete stranger. Though the typical hairstyle has changed in the 9 years since I was in England, now it’s spikey, before it was combed down and trimmed in a straight line across the forehead. After my pizza I rode through town, then I heard the “hiss” of my tyre giving way. So I stopped to fix it, again. As soon as I put it back on the bike it started going down, I can’t win this. I fucking hate racers. I decided I needed a new tube so I walked to the Tesco near the Pizza restaurant, of course they only had the types for the shitty bikes they sold.
A good hour or 2 wasted on that and I was away, it was getting dark so I was looking for a campsite, nothing came up, all these side roads led to nothing. I gave up and chose the long grass behind the bushes on the side of the road, not really any houses here, but there, behind the grass was an area, where the grass had been trimmed, further from the road, it looked like a campsite, even had a campfire.
As I was setting up the tent I noticed some flashes in the distance, I couldn’t work out what they were, as the sky was clear, maybe some sort of beacon on the river. The flashes became lightning and I saw the clouds rolling in as the wind picked up. Hoping it wasn’t coming this way I lay in the tent watching the walls flail around and counting the time between the flashes and the thunder. It was OK, usually 10 seconds at the least. Then the rain began and I found out my tent is complete shit, that’s why it was so cheap.
I could feel droplets hitting my face within the first few seconds. Then it started pouring and I could feel water coming in everywhere, I tried to put things in safe places, my bike bags are water proof, so I jammed everything into them. Already I could feel the end of my sleeping bag was drenched, and the thunder was getting louder. I had a rain poncho in a bag, so I opened it and tried to cover myself. There I was, curled in a ball in my sleeping bag with a poncho over me in my tent in the middle of a storm. I tried to make sure no part of me hung over my foam mat, hoping it would insulate me it I was struck by lightning. I wondered what would happen to the tent it if was struck, would it melt? In that moment I decided I was gonna catch a train to Berlin in the morning.
The storm finally ended, then had a short reprise before I tried to sleep in my wet sleeping bag. I’ve been waiting 2 hours for the sun to come out so I can dry my shit. I think this campsite is some place where folks walk their dogs, as a few people have wandered in before turning away and leaving. It’s not like it’s my house, they can do what they want, if I could speak Slovakian I’d tell them. I have no water left, so I hope this shit dries soon, coz I’m dying of thirst. Of course my tyre was flat this morning too.
09.09.08 Hustopece
I made it into the Czech republic after 2 very slow days, I hoped to get to Brno today, but the never ending flat tyre saga managed to thwart me. I think I only rode 30km yesterday, after waiting for my stuff to dry I headed off, the first thing I wanted was water, of course the first town didn’t even have a shop, so I pushed on, so thirsty to the next one, they had some supermarkets, so I decided to get a new tube for the bike, but I found no bike shop. I was tempted to but a cheap tent at Lidl, but maybe it’s better to just pay more for one that works.
The path was nice, winding along the Moravia River, it was pretty clearly marked, so it was easy, went through some small towns. Still I felt like I pumped my tyres up every 5 minutes. A few more dead towns with no shops at all finally made me decide to charge to Malacky, it was 4.30 and the sign said it was 16km away, amazingly I was there by 5, but the shop didn’t close until 6 anyway. I got a new tube, and some chocolate, and ginger bread cookies, then I headed out of town. I had passed 3 petrol stations in the last day, but none had a working pump, so the going was sluggish. I went through a few more small towns, now the dusk was in effect, so it was soon time to sleep. These small towns are funny, some of them appear deserted, others have these toothless yokels sitting there watching nothing happen. You could see the increase in wealth as it got closer to Malacky, which wasn’t that great anyway.
So I got back to the river, and headed north along the levy, still these stupid racing wheels made sure I felt the slightest crack. There were these kind of huts by the river, little holiday houses or something, they all have these big net things on a big crane, guess they just dip them in the river a catch dinner. I passed a few, then headed down to where there didn’t seem to be many, of course there was, hidden in the trees, but they looked empty. I found a pretty nice place to camp, by the river, no one around, I could hear there was a train track not too far away, and as I walked around in the night I could hear deer and things running off. There was also a dog barking on the other side of the field, but I saw no lights.
Occasionally in the night I heard fish jumping in the river, they sounded pretty big, guess that’s what the nets are for. I slept well, except for being disturbed by some beast scratching continually at the side of my tent, dunno what it was, but it sounded rat-sized and took some noise to scare off. It was the first night of the journey where I’ve had to do up the sleeping bag all the way. In the morning there was fog everywhere, this was what the German guys I met warned me of, guess that’s why it was so cold. It took a few hours for the Earth to dry, in the meantime a guy was mowing the lawn across the river, so much for solitary wilderness. Funny to think that 15 metres away on the other side is Austria, 20 years ago it would’ve been impossible to camp here, it would’ve all been guarded, even 10 years ago it was still pretty closed. Growing up by the river it’s hard to imagine not being able to cross it. It does create a natural barrier, and it was annoying at times, especially in Winter, but other times we just swam over.
The riding was pretty nice, just cruising along the levy, I’d noticed many small bunkers along the way, then I saw a sign that said they were leftovers from WWII, so I had a closer look. Wow. It seemed like a good place for a toilet break, so I hit the bushes, there was a rustling behind me, and I saw a snake sliding away. Wow, that’s my second snake in Europe, the last was when I just entered Czech Republic, but it was tiny, this one was good size, I only saw it’s tail, but it was round as a sausage, which means it was at least 50cm. I also saw a mole, my first ever, sadly it was dead, amazing how many dead things are on this path, mostly mice and frogs, dunno how they die here without cars. But the mole had very soft shiny fur, and little claws, poor little guy. I think on this trip I’ve seen foxes rabbits, frogs, hedgehogs, a bat, and now a mole, all dead, and a big dead fish by the river.
The road eventually took me to a bridge over to Austria, so I went over. It was funny, I felt home in a way, guess it’s being able to understand the language or something. I found a petrol station and pumped up my tyres, then decided to head north for the Czech border.
The going was good, smooth roads, full tyres, too good to be true I was thinking, and it was, 30 seconds later there was the hiss of my back tyre going down. It was the new tube. I hate racing bikes. So I fixed it and moved on, I saw a map that said the road I was on went straight over the border, it didn’t say that it turned into a jungle trail. The border crossing was just a gate in the forest, best one yet. After the forest the road became this kind of concrete block thing, like giant lego pieces. There were signs for bikes showing the way, so I followed. Then “hiss” again, this time it was the front wheel, I hate racing bikes. I fixed it and headed into the town, then I found the bike path I needed, it was pretty cool, through a big forest, winding all over.
The front wheel was still a bit flat, so I stopped to pump it up, but now the whole valve snapped off. I fucking hate racing bikes. So I put the other old tube on, but its valve wasn’t willing to cooperate and it spat all the air out. So back to the slow leaker I replaced yesterday. I was so proud of that front tyre, it seemed so sturdy, so reliable, but no…. Now the slow leaker meant every 10km or so was pump time.
A small town had a bike shop, but it was closed, so I sat on the side of the road and decided it was time to get a train to Berlin. Then I got up and started heading here, Hustopece, somehow I lost the bike path, but fuck it, it was winding round in the forest going nowhere. The normal roads brought me here, and I saw on the sign there was a camping place, so I checked in. I needed a night free of storms, mosquitoes, rats, giant fish, and dry old bread. There is a restaurant here, I ordered too much, but it was good, potato pancake with sausage, and some bean stew, I thought they’d be small coz they were so cheap, but no. I think it’s a bit of a local hang out, coz there are some drunken old dudes who don’t look like campers. Hopefully there’s a bike shop in the town, then to Brno.
posted by Brett at 02:23
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